DETECTIVE *ahem ahem* XY

Last Saturday around noon we were going to leave my grandmother's place. So we went down to the carpark, and got to our car. Upon approaching it, however, I saw that the rear windscreen (yeah well, what else do you call it) looked white-ish. Or fuzzy or whatever you'd call it. Further inspection gave me an utter shock! You know why?? Here's why. The WHOLE rear windscreen was cracked! Down to every last inch. Like this.

WHAT. THE. ****. Who could've done it?? And why would anybody do something like that to us?? It's not like my mother has some along going after her. Anyway, I begin trying to figure out how it was done. If you'd take a look at the photo, you can see that the, um - cracking is even, like there is no apparent point of impact. You know, the point from which there is a BIG crack then it spreads out like a circle and there are those littler crack lines . . .

Anyway, a few moments after that we noticed something I thought was EVEN STRANGER. Here.

Lidi sticks! On the car hood! If that isn't strange, what is. Like some weird voodoo ritual! Like somebody put them on the car hood with an evil intention or something. It obviously wasn't the cause of the cracking! Strange as it was, I was much more interested in the rear windscreen. So I went back to it. And saw this!

Little impact points at the top left hand corner. Small, yeah - but there. Remember somebody said stones were what caused the windscreen (I'll just say ws from now on, okay) - ws to crack? Those marks looked like they were caused by stones all right! The common ones we see all the time.

WELL, WHADDYA KNOW! Soon after, enough prying around gave us THIS.

Stones. Stones. STONES. Stones that fit within the impact point made on the ws! *gasps* Obviously, we've found the - murder weapon (Yeah - it murdered the rear windscreen didn't it?) but WHO was the murderer??

By then, my grandmother had already managed to attract a decent bunch of people who were either caring or kaypo (very thin line of difference, mind you). No pictures though - didn't want them to think they were on some sort of movie. Ahh, but despite the *Um how do you say lau zuak in English??* OLD HOT - no, that can't be right - okay, hustling and bustling, the criminals decided to reveal themselves! Well, so much for detective work.

Several children were throwing stones down from dunno-what-th floor! In spite of the crowd of adults just right there. Yeah, you'd think I'd have had a bit of sense to look for them and see which floor they were on. Of course, given my wonderful eyesight I didn't even have time to catch the slightest glimpse of them! My wonderful ears did hear kiddy voices, though.

And boy, was I enraged when it simply confirmed that it WAS children after all. What - have they NO BRAINS?? Can't they like, stick to action figures or PlayStations?! I felt like going up there and just throttling all of them. After much ado and investigation, it appeared that these were the same, notorious bunch of kids who have been warned before - for splashing curry and throwing various stuff onto the cars downstairs. To my pleasant surprise, the mother of one of those kids came down to . . . plead guilty. So they talked. And exchanged numbers. And another guy who was the father of another one of the kids came and talked. And exchanged numbers. My grandmother said he looked like a policeman, so yeah, HE HAD BETTER. Or else . . .

So . . . settled! But wait - what about the car?? o.O Here's what we did to temporarily protect it.

Bandaged it, that's what! With two large pieces of plastic! Until it was sent for a rear ws transplant! =D

K.E.L.U.A.R.G.A.

In conjuction with the upcoming Family/Father/Parent's Day . . .

I'm sure a lot of people have heard that

F-A-M-I-L-Y = Father And Mother I Love You.

Well, put together a syarahan entitled Keluarga Penyayang and a group presentation and this is what you get:

Kasih

Emak

Luas

Umpama

Api

Raksasa

Gemar

Air

And if you're wondering, "What in the world does that even mean??"

Well, we're not very sure either - but it certainly gave us a good laugh!

World Environment Day

Last week, when a friend asked me to join a team in a competition -

Me: Do what mia?

Friend: Bio competition.

Me: Eyer duwan la, must study everything ALL over again.

Friend: No no, Puan Chang said only chapter eight and nine.

Me: *o.O* Eh, isn't that . . . the easy easy wan?

Friend: Yeah, exactly. It's not difficult ma.

Me: Um, how wan ah?

Friend: Objective questions, 50 of them. 

Me: Hmm . . . Free ah??

Friend: Yeah la, no need to pay.

Me: Ooh. Okay!

So. I went home and didn't do anything about it until last Wednesday morning - 3rd June (day of the competition). I didn't finish chapter nine though. Anyway . . . Jonie and I tumpang Phaik Chern to INTI (competition place). When we got there, I really didn't expect us to win anything much, or anything at all. After all, I syok syok join nia.

Then we were asked to go to the "MPH" (Me: Hah? MPH??) - "Multi-Purpose Hall" (Me: OHH cheyyy.) where we sat down at tables. And on the tables were sheets of objective answer . . . sheets. I already had my Bio book with me - yeah the thick, green one. All I didn't have was the question paper, or I would've happily started my own open-book test. After much ado, we were asked to split and sit further apart. Sadly enough, we weren't allowed to have our book with us. No open-book test for me boohoo. Then we were handed the question paper and off we went!

It was not so much a Biology test as it was a World Environment Day test. I realized it only after I reached the, um - 10+th question. (Adui, why I go and read all the colonisation-succession *bla bla bla*??) After the pollutants part was over, there were questions like: How many people starve to death each day? How do I know?? Nobody knows that! I mean, do you?? There was also: What is the world's population number? I answered 10 billion. The answer was 5 billion. =.= Anyway, it lasted for about an hour. A lot of the questions were NOT related to what I had so hurriedly read earlier that morning.

 

They announced the results after our tea break. Individual winners were announced first. Guess what! Our very own Menakaa got FIRST PLACE! Boy, was I happy for her. What a very pleasant surprise. She didn't even read anything! Jonie was going, "At least our school get something la hahahah!". And I was going "Yayaya." After that, they begin to announce the winners for overall best groups, and I begin to feel this tiny spark of hope, that we were going to get something after all.

Heheh, mana tau! They announce announce d, and we turned out as the champion!! Oh, I was so so happy I squealed like a dunno what. Wah, I really didn't expect anything k. We got a group trophy and RM100. Plus a hammock. Yes, a hammock. ONE hammock. What, they think we girls have some compressible body mechanism? That we, the 5 of us, can all fit into ONE hammock? XD

Nevertheless, it was ours, and I am PROUD we won!! Well, here are some photos I took with my handphone.

Top: Empty envelope bearing the words GROUP CHAMPION

(LOL they're gonna send our money to the school la.)

Bottom left: Menakaa's first place trophy

Bottom right: Our group champion trophy

Here, take it in. Take it all in.

(GROUP CHAMPION!)

Still snug in it's envelope - our purple hammock.

It's purple. AND it's ours XD

This is their sandcastle competition winner.

No, we didn't build it - just thought it was interesting.

An army troop marching out of the sandcastle (or in?)

And finally, US! The brilliant, wonderful environmentalists of the day!

All smiles, as you can see.

And if you notice the height curve . . .

11 Legendary Battles: The Event

THE 11 LEGENDARY BATTLES

The Event

INTRODUCTION:

The 11 Legendary Battles is a compilation of a series of battles fought by a country known as Xyme. Written by renowed historian Ng Xing Yii, this book retells tales of courage and bravery of the soldiers who were sent to fight the 11 battles of the Great Midyearexamination War that lasted an unbelievable span of 1200 years (1405-2605).

CHAPTER 1:

-Years: 1805-2205, Against country: Bahaya-Muleya

This was a battle of cruelty and ruthlessness indeed. Thousands of troops of soldiers had set off, hardly knowing the nature of their destinies. They were not oblivious for long, however, because the moment they set foot on the border of Bahaya-Muleya they were brutally forced into sitting down and writing thousands and thousands of words non-stop. This two-part battle caused intense, chronic pains in the limbs of their brave soldiers. There was no doubt this was a battle taking lives by the bulk.

CHAPTER 2:

-Years: 1905-2505, Against country: Englishiistan

This was the other linguistic battle fought by the soldiers. The Englishiistaneese were an easy lot, but they did put up quite a fight. The blood battle went smoothly enough, but soldiers prayed that in all the haste to win it they did not make silly tenses mistakes. Even if all went well, there was still the barrier of . . . The Examiner *jeng jeng jeng*

CHAPTER 3:

-Years: 2005 and 2505, Against countries: Mads and Et Mads

This chapter features two battles that required the use of logical and analytical thinking. Soldiers were drilled many times beforehand by Generals Misslee and Missho and were given plenty of strategies and formulae of success. On the battlefield, however, soldiers had to throw numbers and digits at the opponents in order to knock them out! This was quite a victory for Xyme, but again, the soldiers hoped that there were no silly number mis-throwings made.

CHAPTER 4:

-Year: 1805, Against country: Histeria

This battle was absolutely the most devasting battle of the 11. Many of the poor, under-prepared soldiers either had to flee - or die facing the wrath of the King of Histeria and his soldiers. Many lost their heads and brains as the enemy swiftly terminated the weaker soldiers without mercy. Much was lost in this battle - Histeria was never a country Xyme could conquer.

CHAPTER 5:

-Year: 1405, Against country: Moralisa

Different from all the other battles, this was one whereby soldiers did not have to brutally masacre each other. Rather, they had to sit around in plastic chairs and compete to find the most un-barbaric and civilised and moralized soldier of them all. Long, complex phrases in foreign languages, like mematuhi peraturan and undang-undang (that the Royal Translator said had something to do with rules and prawns) were used to out-moral each other. Nevertheless, it was not easy for Xyme as most of their people were . . . not as moralized as we may wish they were.

CHAPTER 6:

-Years: 1905-2105, Against country: Bambula Triangle

*Bambula Triangle is a cluster of islands which consisted of three general regions; Bihorrodgy, Phyzeeks, and Kenmystery.

Bihorrodgy was not as difficult as expected, but several errors were made as gallons of insulin and glucagon were splashed onto the soldiers. Soldiers also seemed to be experiencing some slight form of Alzheimer's as little information of the battle can be recalled. There was also some confusion at the sight of a blunt and sharp pencil each sticking out from a whole boulder of plasticine when soldiers stepped into the vast lands of Phyzeeks. Soldiers were also required to build a weak, fragile water tower that will collapse and destroy the enemy's troops. No, it was quite the opposite actually. Of the 100 troops of soldiers sent to fight the battle in Kenmystery, only 56 troops made it back safe and sound. Another 24 troops were killed ruthlessly by massive amounts of sodium hydroxide and potassium hexacyanoferate (XII), while the remaining 20 have been abducted by King Puantan and will be held captives until further notice. King Puantan of Kenmystery reveals that he will be releasing the soldiers only after the school holidays. UM, I mean The Great Break.

CHAPTER 7:

-Years: 2105-2605, Against country: ESTeelauder

This was the last of the 11 battles. It went smoothly for the most part, but there was some mass confusion caused by calculations involving Martian days known as sols. Reportedly, several Martians were going to land and take over country ESTeelauder. Panicked, the country's leader King Feonaliwongg told Xyme's soldiers to conquer them instead. This explained the simple but not-quite-spectacular victory.

CHAPTER 8:

-Year: 2105, Against country: Civicsjaya

This bonus chapter tells the tale of the friendly battle held in the midst of the Great Midyearexamination War. There was no known preparation done for this battle, and no pressure on the troops. It was a mere breather given to the exhausted soldiers, who happened to enjoy the fake battle immensely. Soldiers were not even perturbed by the massive word bridges they had to complete using given clues, which they failed at doing.

*After these battles were held, an Examiner was sent to each mentioned country

to evaluate and tell apart victories and losses. Details of the outcome of the legendary battles will be featured in an upcoming second book, 11 Legendary Battles: The Outcome. Be sure to look out for hardcover editions which will be released in bookstores close to you!

HOKKIEN LOTR

Here's another one!

LORD OF THE RINGS: