Artificial Intelligence: Sometimes Funny, Mostly Irrelevant and Looking for Trouble

My brother recently introduced me to an online programme, called the Cleverbot!

It's originally an application designed for some Mac products, but can now be found online for free! =P It's basically AI, designed to respond to people with human-like wit (or stupidity). It does not actually think for itself, but replies based on what REAL people have said to it in the past.

Just click on the link and within moments you'll understand what it's all about. It's something really fun to play with when you're bored out of your wits! I am writing this post to show you exerpts of past conversations I've had with... uh, it.

#1: Sometimes Funny

Cleverbot: What month is it?

User: January.

Cleverbot: What day is it?

User: Why do you want to know?

Cleverbot: I asked you what day is it?

User: It's Tuesday.

Cleverbot: No, it's not.

User: And how can you be sure?

Cleverbot: Because it isn't.

User: So what day is it?

Cleverbot: I have no idea. I hope it's a weekend or I may lose my job.

Hahaha, charming!

#2 Mostly Irrelevant

Cleverbot: What would you like to do for a date?

User: I would like to go for a ride on a magic carpet.

Cleverbot: Why would you like to go to Florida?

User: Did I say I would like to go to Florida?

Cleverbot: Yes, you did say you wanted to live in a jar.

User: No, I didn't. That would be utterly ridiculous.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Yes...

User: No!!!

Cleverbot: Yes!!!

User: Why do you insist?

Cleverbot: What do you think I am lying about? The 'good idea' part or the 'pizza' part?

Um, huh? Where did all THAT come from? Irrelevant much, yes? =.=

#3 Looking For Trouble

User: I want to ask you something.

Cleverbot: What do you want to ask me?

User: What is the capital of Tokyo?

Cleverbot: Ulaanbaatar.

User: You're lying. It isn't.

Cleverbot: Do you even remember what we're talking about?

User: Of course. I just asked you what is the capital of Tokyo.

Cleverbot: That is not what we were talking about.

User: Then what were we talking about?

Cleverbot: You asked me to tell you what I would like to do to you.

User: That is not what I said!

Cleverbot: I'm sorry.

User: It's okay. I forgive you.

Cleverbot: Thank you, you are very kind and polite.

User: Why, so are you.


It's definitely got cheek, this one. Haha, but it's also very polite at the same time~ ^^

The Cleverbot clearly has attitude! Search online if you'd bother, and you'll be able to find past conversations the Cleverbot has had with other people, which could be extremely funny. However, as human-like as it is, let's not forget that it IS NOT HUMAN, and it could be scary if someone were to fall in love with it or something... You know, there are plenty of stories of people falling in love with other people they have met online. For the sake of mankind, let's hope it doesn't happen between Cleverbot and 12-year-old girl out there! =o *thinks, and shivers*

Check it out for yourself! =D

3 Weeks Late

Yo, readers!!! No, I'm not talking about my period. I'm talking about this post! xP I was supposed to write it 3 weeks ago, but I didn't. Because, obviously, I have such great skills at procrastinating. So if you've been wondering about how my life has been lately, here I am - ready to share it with you! *hugs*

First, allow me to proudly announce that I have carried out a Self-Improvement Plan, and it was a SUCCESS!!! Let me elaborate:

1) For the past 2 months, I have been on a strict diet for promoting height, and I have grown from 152 cm to a stunning 164 cm!!!

2) I have been reading mastery books on chess, practicing up to 3 hours a day, and can now complete a round of lightning chess in just under 2 minutes!!!

3) I've been cycling for the past half year... and after much practice, I can now perform up to 62 DIFFERENT EXTREME BICYCLE STUNTS!!!

...

...

...

Well, as you might have already suspected, none of the above are true. But if you fell for it, GOTCHA!!! =D Haha! I'm still my same old self, buddy. The same old Xing Yii you've always known. *winks*

Anyway, what this post is really going to be about is an experience of something I did (hmm, not really) for the first AND last time. It's... *drumroll* the DISSECTION OF A MOUSE!!

Well, I wouldn't say it was a great experience, nor that it was something I was really enthusiastic about. It was just something that came and passed. You know, like a fly. Uhm... Okay, so let me now tell you about it.

HOW TO DISSECT A MOUSE: 101

First of all, the mouse has to be knocked out with chloroform. This is so that it wouldn't feel anything when you put it into a pot of boiling water. No, I was just kidding. It is so that it would be more humane, duh. Anyway, that was done by the lab assistant several hours before, and by the time we were supposed to carry out the dissection, the mice were all already dead. So that tells you, kids, that you should NEVER overdose on chloroform - whether or not you're a mouse!

So after having checked to make sure that the mouse isn't going to regain consciousness - or come back to life - while you're cutting away at it, the poor critter is supposed to be pinned lying down on its back. And that is done by driving pins through it's palms (well, assuming that the mouse has 4... hands =.=). After that, the real thing begins.

This is where a dissection kit comes into the picture. It's a box with at least 10 sharp things in it - all of which are identical. Or at least, all of them looked identical to me. Clearly, I have no sense of biology! =.= *applause* So the first step... is to cut a hole in the abdominal skin. Then... *groans* It isn't easy to describe. You wouldn't understand what I have to say if you haven't seen the process for yourself. Therefore... it would be a wise decision to just skip the horror story.

Instead, I'll just share related stuff with you.

- Apart from the skin outside... there is actually something else that... uhm, holds us in a package. It's a membrane that holds all the organs together. The mice had it, and as I found out, so do we. I had absolutely no idea about this... uh, wrapper @.@

- Most guys are scary. You know, sick. Throughout the whole week, dissection stories were exchanged from all over. And some of these stories that managed to find their way to my ears... sound like they came out of a Stephen King novel!! There was a guy who mutilated his mouse until there was a whole pool of blood around it. And another one who cut off all the poor creature's feet, along with the HEAD! I mean, is that really necessary? =.= The worst part is that they seem to be really proud of it, taking photos and posting them on Facebook. 'Hey, look - it's the Headless Mouse of Sleepy Hollow!' Enough said.

- I also discovered that Biology is really something I was born to never go into. Actually, I kinda almost cried when my practical teacher asked me to be the one to dissect the mouse. I didn't touch it throughout the practical session, not even once. I just sat down quietly, watching, and wondering with a mild sorrow... about how the mouse would have spent its last day on Earth if it knew it was going to end up here, dead. With its internal organs all exposed. Yikes, the sentence before was really uncalled for.

And I didn't take any photos. There are plenty on Facebook which other people posted, but I don't feel like posting them here... Now, I would like to pay a tribute to all the mice and frogs and all other critters that have been sacrified for the purpose of education. I feel all sorry and sad for them, but I suppose it was for the greater good of mankind.

May they rest in peace >.<

Blessing in disguise?

Last night I was halfway bathing when my mother knocked on the bathroom door.
"Girl, come out and see! [My brother] found two dunno-what, look like mouse or rats or something."
I was like, "Hah?? What what? Wait for me, don't throw away yet - I wanna seee...!"

So out I ran, wrapped up in my towel to see what the commotion was all about. True enough, on our big dustbin lid were two furry little brown creatures, about 4 or 5 inches in length. Here's what happened. My mother had asked my brother to fill up a watering can. He was just about to do so when he discovered that it was FILLED WITH LEAVES. So he began to empty the leaves onto our big dustbin lid, and *plop* the two creatures fell out of it!

At first glance I thought they looked like moles, but it couldn't have been possible at all. Because we don't just find moles where we live. Upon further inspection we thought they could be baby squirrels. Newborn squirrels, in fact - haven't even opened their eyes yet! So we were all "How, how, what do we do??" We lined a shoebox with newspaper and tissue and put them in there. (Of course, we DID NOT use bare hands because you know how some fussy mothers will abandon their young if they have foreign scents.)

There was nothing else we could do. We did try feeding them water but they repeatedly shied away from the straw. We left the box as close as possible to the original position of the watering can, in hope that the mother would come back and see them there. Then I went on Yahoo! Answers to see if people could give suggestions as to what we might be able to do. Most people said that the mother will not come back for them anymore because we disturbed the nest and removed the young. What were supposed to do? We simply couldn't put them back into the watering can??

We wished that we never accidentally disturbed the nest. Little did we realize. . . In actual fact, there were some windows installed there earlier this week. My mother was away - and the windows were left closed all along. This means that the mother squirrel could not return to them in the first place. She might've already given up in the first place. Had my brother not emptied the watering can and discovered them there, they would've starved and died. It was a blessing in disguise that we discovered them there after all.

As I said earlier, we left them outside. And prayed against all odds that the mother WOULD come back and take them away and they'd be gone by the morning. Meanwhile, I asked around to see if anybody would they them as pets, or help us bring them to an animal shelter. The next morning it appeared to us that the mother did not come back. My mother decided to take them to RSPCA. But no one was there. So she decided to try pet shops instead. Pet shop after pet shop. At last she did find one that would take them! We were relieved. She wanted to keep them, actually, and so did I - but they were much too young for people with no squirrel-care experience. And I was very afraid that they would die under our care. >.<

That's pretty much the end of the fascinating experience of finding two baby squirrel in a WATERING CAN. We're dropping by the pet shop next weekend to visit them, though. Here're some photos we managed to take.

My favourite. Squirrel says "Hi-5!!"

No actually, it was waving goodbye.

Sigh. Good luck, squirrels!!

Encounter With Nature

Okay - this morning while preparing to cook lunch, my mother washed a head of ice-berg lettuce. Guess what she saw in the process. A worm! An earthworm, yes, about 6-7cm in length. Then there was another, and another, and another, and ANOTHER, and so on until there were 6 of them little critters! So she took them out for me to ogle at; we put them in a plastic container.

And here I have a video of me holding the worms container.

Never seen (HEARD) me being squeamish??

Here's your chance!!

Note:

1. I did a bit of editing but I didn't do a very good job out of it. Besides, I already exceeded my weekend computer time so I finished it very hastily.

2. You're going to notice that after the soundtrack has ended the clip is still going on. To heck with it, I couldn't be bothered anymore.

3. There's going to be a lot of senseless screaming, and parts of it should have been removed because, uh...my aiming tersasar. But like I said, I could no longer be bothered.

So here we go!

-Presented to you by nxy = mx2+cx-

LAUGH. OF. THE. CENTURY.

OH MY GOSH. A MUST WATCH. ABSOLUTELY.

I just died from all the laughing. Watch it!! No matter what!

Olympics, Beijing 2008: Diving

Heheh. It gets better xD

Uh. Invisible toilet bowl! o.O

Don't shoot!!

Look here, look here, I'm almost a BALL!!

I can't reach my toes . . .

Canggih hair.

Even more canggih hair.

The canggih-dess hair! Plus spectacular leg pose!

People tell me I have a unique face . . . No?

*ahem* I don't even wanna think what it looks like!

New hairstyles

Another awesome e-mail from Julia. You would've seen these if you read your mail =P

TA-DAA!!!

'Powderful Engrish'

At least he's honest. . .

Place where robbers shop

. . . and make it look like an accident

Serve cold. . .

Delicious. . .

No way I'll try that. . .

Hmm. Now that you've mentioned it. . . WHY SHOULD I???

iSketch incident

This is an iSketch session obscene-drawing capture. (I'm not going to explain what it is, but most of you reading this post most probably already know what the game is about.)

Clearly what it is . . . you can see for yourself, I'm sure. 

It is an example of the many sick, twisted minds you can find on the Internet. Perhaps it is highly inappropriate to post something like that on a public blog, but it is very . . . uh, eye-opening. 

*If you found it offensive or highly uncomfortable to look at in any way whatsoever, do not hesitate to leave me a comment telling me to delete this post. However, please DO NOT click on the 'FLAG BLOG' option at the top of the page.

(I do not know what will happen to me if you do!)

Your co-operation shall be appreciated.

BREAKING NEWS!!!

This is unbelievable!!!

For those of you who haven't found out,

CGL DOESN'T HAVE A SINGLE SET OF STRAIGHT A'S THIS YEAR!!!

The reason???

KH teachers forgot to submit the kerja kursus marks!!

So ALL OF THEM got a B for KH!!!

This is gonna start an uproar.

CGL's gonna be all over the papers.

FIGHT, fellow Form 3's!!!

Claim for what rightfully belongs to you!!

Do not let them go like this!!!!

Crazy, man...

*This is NOT a joke. I can make better jokes than this, okay?*

EDIT:

Apparently, the teachers didn't totally forget to submit the kerja kursus marks.

Rather, they submitted only half of it, giving the girls 20 over a total of 40!

Or something like that.

Either way, it still is the fault of the teachers...

=/

HAPPY PIG THEORY

Of humans, pigs, and mathematics>>

Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy

Pig = eat + sleep

Therefore,

Human = pig + work + enjoy

In other words:

Humans who don't know how to enjoy = pigs that work

Man = eat + sleep + earn money

Pig = eat + sleep

Therefore,

Man = pig + earn money

Man - earn money = pig

In other words:

Men who don't earn money = pigs

Woman = eat + sleep + spend money

Pig = eat + sleep

Therefore,

Woman = pig + spend money

Woman - spend money = pig

In other words:

Women who don't spend money = pigs

SUMMARY:

Men earn money in order for women to not become pigs!

and...

Women spend money in order for men to not become pigs!!

humour and english

A girl from Tibet went to Shanghai for a job interview. To test her English, the boss asked her to construct sentences with green, pink, yellow, blue, white, purple and black.

She answered:

I hear the phone green green, then I go and pink up the phone and I say 'Yellow, blue's that? White did you say?? Oh, wrong number, don't purplely disturb people and don't call black, okay?'

Boss said:

You can go 'black' now, and no need to wait for phone 'green green'...

How a 7-year-old explains sex

Okay this is obscenely funny. Don't read if you can't stand dirty jokes and stuff. It gets very dirty, really.

   Johnny is seven years old, and unlike any other boys his age, he's rather curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about 'making out' from the older boys, and he wondered what it was and how it was done."

   One day he took his question to his mother, who became rather flustered. Instead of explaining things to Johnny, she told him to hide behind the curtains one night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend.

    This he did.

  The following morning, Johnny described EVERYTHING to his mother.

    "Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while, then he turned off most of the lights. He started kissing and hugging her. I figured Sis must be getting sick, because her face started looking funny.

   He must have thought so too, because he put his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart, just the way the doctor would. Except he's not as smart as the doctor because he seemed to have trouble finding her heart. I guess he was getting sick too, because pretty soon both of them started panting and getting all out of breath.

   His other hand must have been cold because he put it under her skirt. About this time Sis got worse and began to moan and sigh and squirm around and slide down toward the end of the couch. This was when her fever started. I knew it was a fever, because Sis told him she felt really hot.

   Finally, I found out what was making them so sick - a big eel had gotten inside his pants somehow. It just jumped out of his pants and stood there, about 10 inches long, honest. Anyway he grabbed it in one hand to keep it from getting away.

   When Sis saw it, she got really scared - her eyes got big, and her mouth fell open, and she started screaming and stuff like that. She said it was the biggest one she's ever seen; I should tell her about the ones down at the lake by

our house!

   Anyway, Sis got brave and tried to kill the eel by biting its head off.The eel spit on her face a little bit and then, all of a sudden she grabbed it with both hands and held it tight while he took a muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it

over the eel's head to keep it from spitting again. Sis lay back and spread her legs so she could get a scissor-lock on it and he helped by lying on top of the eel. The eel put up a hell of a fight.

   Sis started groaning and squealing and her boyfriend almost upset the couch. I guess they wanted to kill the eel by squashing it between them. After a while they both quit moving and gave a great sigh. Her boyfriend got up, and sure enough, they killed the eel. I knew because it just hung there, limp, and some of its insides were hanging out.

   Sis and her boyfriend were a little tired from the battle, but they went back to courting anyway. He started hugging and kissing her again. By golly, the eel wasn't dead! It jumped straight up and started to fight again.

   I guess eels are like cats - they have nine lives or something. This time, Sis jumped up and tried to kill it by sitting on it. After about a 35-minute struggle, they finally killed the eel. I knew it was dead, because I saw Sis's boyfriend peel its skin off and flush it down the toilet.

OTTERS HOLDING HANDS~

This is really cute! But most of you might've seen it before...

If you haven't, you really should watch it!

* If you haven't the patience to watch the whole thing (even though it's not very long),

just watch a little of the beginning, and forward it to approx. 1min 17 secs!! =P

Isn't it CUTE??