I love my brother.

His real name is Zhi Yong. But at home we used to call him Lester (just like my real name is Xing Yii but I am also called Leanne). And note, USED to. Because approximately a year ago he decided for himself that he wants to be called Leo. He didn’t like his name very much, apparently. Because he used to get teased very often – really, there are SO many ways to mutate that name.

So now I call him Mr. Ng. Because I simply don’t know what to call him anymore =o

To me, he has always been Lester. I’ll never call him Leo or Zhi Yong because it’s just really weird to call somebody with another name after so many years of calling them with . . . their old name.

Nevertheless, one thing’s for sure. He’s still my brother. Nothing about THAT has changed. And you know what?

I love him.

And I love him because:

1) He feeds me potato chips when I am at the computer and don’t want my hands to get dirty.

2) He pokes my arm and tells me to ‘walk further in’ when we’re on a sidewalk and a car is passing by.

3) He cuts my steak into smaller pieces for me, even when we’ve had a big argument and I’m not talking to him. (It’s his silent plea to have our relationship fixed. Almost charming, really.)

These are just several instances. There are so many more than I can possibly list. Of course, we have fights, shouting sessions and differences too, but what is a relationship between siblings if it is without the occasional conflicts? One word: IMPOSSIBLE. We see each other every day; we must both be crazy if we never fought!

As little children, we argued very often. Over A LOT of things. But now, he’s grown up. He has matured. And that’s the best part. We don’t argue over stupid, petty things anymore. In fact, we argue SO MUCH LESS nowadays. That makes me happy, really. =)

There have been many times when I tell people that I am at my father’s house during the weekdays and go back to my mother’s house during the weekend . . . and they ask me, “So when you go to your father’s house, your brother goes back to your mother’s house?” Or the other way around. Well, the answer is a big NO. Why should we be living separately like that?? It makes no sense, really. We go everywhere together. (ALMOST everywhere – because he can’t go to a girls’ school. =.=) So yeah, he’s the person I’ve spent the MOST time with over the years. He’s the one person I see absolutely every day. We’ve been through thick and thin together. Through our parents’ divorce and everything else that came after that.

So . . . who said that siblings are a nuisance? Oops. I've said it myself many, many times before! =x

Hehe. But be assured that has changed. I’m a much better and more loving sister now. I’m a lot nicer to him now. And I love having him around the house. He talks – A LOT. And he makes me laugh. (Well, a lot of people make me laugh but he is the only one at home who does it! xD)

He’s my house-bestfriend. He’s my laughing gas. He’s my brother. And I love him. =)

P/S: And NO, I don’t say that to his face because he might think that I’ve lost my mind or something. I doubt he’ll ever come across this post, but I’m sure deep down in his heart he’ll always know that I do love him, regardless of what I say or don’t say or do or don’t do.

Doomsday

I've written posts in the form of a documentary... book and painting reviews, and now I'm doing one in the style of a movie trailer! *winks*

-Clock strikes 12 midnight.

-Girl (fast asleep) with her head on a textbook.

-Another girl, stepping into a hall with a handful of stationery, muttering prayers in silence.

-Students scribbling away with confidence. Or without.

-Invigilator with eyes boring into space.

-Yet another girl; frowning at question paper.

-*Screams*

-*Complete screen blackout, as dramatic background music begins to play*

198 OTHER STUDENTS...

24 PAPERS...

11 SUBJECTS...

10 ACTUAL EXAM DAYS...

ONE BRAIN.

-*Background music fades*

-Voice: (in heavy Hokkien accent) Ha, got ONE brain only ah? Mana boleh muat? Die loh like that!! *faints*

-*Background music resumes*

Can you feel the adrenaline?

D-O-O-M-S-D-A-Y

Brought to you by

LEMBAGA PEPERIKSAAN SHOWTIME PRODUCTIONS CO.

invading local school halls

on

18 NOVEMBER 2009

SEE YOU THERE.

Stubborn electrons!

Such stubborn, silly electrons. I plug the charger in and turn it on, but the phone simply refuses to charge! The electrons tersekat over there =.=

Anyway I'm updating today because it is a good day!! Hui Lynn the Bringer of Wonderful News has told me that Friday is a holiday - early balik kampung holiday! However, it does mean that we have to replace it some Saturday. Nevertheless, tomorrow is the last day of school!! And right now it's all the cause I need to celebrate~

Also, Esther has found the title for our 2009 Prom Night. Our theme this year is . . . uh Vintage-Retro thingy. And the title to match it is . . . FLASHBACK *exclamation mark* =D Bravo to Esther - *applause* ! Cute, huh? Short and simple.

That will be all for today I suppose. And we have PJ tomorrow!

So bring it!!! GOODNIGHT.

I'm HIGH LALALA and can hardly think straight right now~ XO XP XD

This . . . is cute xD

In the house

of Mr. and Mrs. Spouse

he and she

would watch TV

and never a word

between them was spoken

until the day

the set was broken.

Then, "How do you do?"

said He to She.

"I don't believe we've met.

Spouse is my name.

What's yours?" he asked.

"Why, mine's the same!"

said She to He.

"Do you suppose we could be...?"

But the set came suddenly right about

and they never did find out.

Please don't get hooked on to modern gadgets

until you forget to chai your loved ones!!

Yvonne - my love, my Valentine

This is my 100th post on Blogger! And I've saved it for my - yes, Yvonne the GUNDIK!! Yvonne, I couldn't make it to the party but I'll make it up to you with an extra sweet post that is sure to melt the coldest icing in your heart (not that there are many, or even ANY xD).

Yvonne - my LOVE , my Valentine! I know le I always suan you, con you, perli you . . . scold you shout at you scream at you get annoyed with you - wahh so many!! But I know you don't mind - that's why I do it so often in the first place.

But but you know . . . the most important thing deep down in my heart is that I LOVE you! And I know you love me too k. More than I love you, I'm sure XP (Just that you always don't wanna admit how much you love me!) And I know and will always remember that you wanna be my *secret* and you will bake and cook for me everyday! Remember ha don't later forget everything k o.O

We've been close friends since Form 2. You still talk as much, if not MORE. Sigh, thank you for talking so much . . . until I don't have to talk sometimes and the convo still flows - because you're talking to yourself. =.=! I know la you cannot control your chui but you must stand farther away from me la k. I keep thinking you want to kiss me nia, stand until so near =X

Somemore what ah . . . Oh, you're getting smarter d. Looks like hanging out with me made you a brighter person! You are not so easy to con anymore lo. Now you can tell when I'm being sarcastic. You're not as silly as Cherylene, who never ever fails to believe what I say wan =P Although . . . just give me a moment to suan you k. You must've noticed that this post is written in very SIMPLE English! Because aiyo I know you la, later I write too chim you sure don't understand wan.

=X

=X

=O

XO

=P

XD

So here's to you, a toast to the girl with the FRIDGE RABBIT!!

~HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY DARLING~

(You know what this means.

Yeah - that I expect you to be driving me around soon.)

And and I have no photo with you so I steal this one from Ee Vern's blog okay!? Since you said anyway, your 'pretty face' o.O *more perasan than me*

I'm sure you're very touched and overwhelmed by my sincerity! I'm very good at writing sweet things wan k, unlike Cherylene who can only say nice, sweet things to . . . EVERYDAY. *beh syok* I LOVE YOU YVONNE (make sure you pass your driving test fast enough ahh) I will sing to you everyday (as long as you're willing to transport me around) and I love you unconditionally (as long as removing the conditions will still give me my way)

LOL no la no la

I LOVE YOU - full stop!!

XD

STRESS

Stress, stress, so much stress
Puts your mind in a state of mess
If life were an apple, then stress is the worm
The creature that makes your stomach just churn!

You wish you could sleep, you wish you could play
ANYTHING but study and study all day
Want to burn all your books, or just throw them away?
Oh NO, you can't do that - the exam's the next day!

There's not much time left, you need to move on
Determination, come back; laziness, begone!
Alas, you ter-doze, but wake up in shock
'Die la', you groan, as you look at the clock!

So what to do now, just wait to face death?
(NOT AT ALL!)
Believe in yourself - you've got to have faith
Triumphs you must see, victory you must smell
You put on a brave front, and 'ONWARDS!' you yell

Written by blog owner

in support of self-confidence and positive thinking during exams

(or just in general)

as well as STRESS-FREE life

ALL THE BEST, MY FRIENDS!!

XD

Blessing in disguise?

Last night I was halfway bathing when my mother knocked on the bathroom door.
"Girl, come out and see! [My brother] found two dunno-what, look like mouse or rats or something."
I was like, "Hah?? What what? Wait for me, don't throw away yet - I wanna seee...!"

So out I ran, wrapped up in my towel to see what the commotion was all about. True enough, on our big dustbin lid were two furry little brown creatures, about 4 or 5 inches in length. Here's what happened. My mother had asked my brother to fill up a watering can. He was just about to do so when he discovered that it was FILLED WITH LEAVES. So he began to empty the leaves onto our big dustbin lid, and *plop* the two creatures fell out of it!

At first glance I thought they looked like moles, but it couldn't have been possible at all. Because we don't just find moles where we live. Upon further inspection we thought they could be baby squirrels. Newborn squirrels, in fact - haven't even opened their eyes yet! So we were all "How, how, what do we do??" We lined a shoebox with newspaper and tissue and put them in there. (Of course, we DID NOT use bare hands because you know how some fussy mothers will abandon their young if they have foreign scents.)

There was nothing else we could do. We did try feeding them water but they repeatedly shied away from the straw. We left the box as close as possible to the original position of the watering can, in hope that the mother would come back and see them there. Then I went on Yahoo! Answers to see if people could give suggestions as to what we might be able to do. Most people said that the mother will not come back for them anymore because we disturbed the nest and removed the young. What were supposed to do? We simply couldn't put them back into the watering can??

We wished that we never accidentally disturbed the nest. Little did we realize. . . In actual fact, there were some windows installed there earlier this week. My mother was away - and the windows were left closed all along. This means that the mother squirrel could not return to them in the first place. She might've already given up in the first place. Had my brother not emptied the watering can and discovered them there, they would've starved and died. It was a blessing in disguise that we discovered them there after all.

As I said earlier, we left them outside. And prayed against all odds that the mother WOULD come back and take them away and they'd be gone by the morning. Meanwhile, I asked around to see if anybody would they them as pets, or help us bring them to an animal shelter. The next morning it appeared to us that the mother did not come back. My mother decided to take them to RSPCA. But no one was there. So she decided to try pet shops instead. Pet shop after pet shop. At last she did find one that would take them! We were relieved. She wanted to keep them, actually, and so did I - but they were much too young for people with no squirrel-care experience. And I was very afraid that they would die under our care. >.<

That's pretty much the end of the fascinating experience of finding two baby squirrel in a WATERING CAN. We're dropping by the pet shop next weekend to visit them, though. Here're some photos we managed to take.

My favourite. Squirrel says "Hi-5!!"

No actually, it was waving goodbye.

Sigh. Good luck, squirrels!!

ATTENTION!!

Please go to Tun Mahathir's blog and vote whether you want

teaching of Science & Mathematics in ENGLISH.

Tun is strongly supporting English and is willing to convey the public's message to the Government. Speak your mind, strike while the iron is HOT! Do it today for the sake of the future generation!

Take a look at this, and see if you can tell me that we

DON'T NEED SCIENCE AND MATHS IN ENGLISH??

Spread the word - we need the support!!

Carmen . . .

This is for you, as promised =)

DETECTIVE *ahem ahem* XY

Last Saturday around noon we were going to leave my grandmother's place. So we went down to the carpark, and got to our car. Upon approaching it, however, I saw that the rear windscreen (yeah well, what else do you call it) looked white-ish. Or fuzzy or whatever you'd call it. Further inspection gave me an utter shock! You know why?? Here's why. The WHOLE rear windscreen was cracked! Down to every last inch. Like this.

WHAT. THE. ****. Who could've done it?? And why would anybody do something like that to us?? It's not like my mother has some along going after her. Anyway, I begin trying to figure out how it was done. If you'd take a look at the photo, you can see that the, um - cracking is even, like there is no apparent point of impact. You know, the point from which there is a BIG crack then it spreads out like a circle and there are those littler crack lines . . .

Anyway, a few moments after that we noticed something I thought was EVEN STRANGER. Here.

Lidi sticks! On the car hood! If that isn't strange, what is. Like some weird voodoo ritual! Like somebody put them on the car hood with an evil intention or something. It obviously wasn't the cause of the cracking! Strange as it was, I was much more interested in the rear windscreen. So I went back to it. And saw this!

Little impact points at the top left hand corner. Small, yeah - but there. Remember somebody said stones were what caused the windscreen (I'll just say ws from now on, okay) - ws to crack? Those marks looked like they were caused by stones all right! The common ones we see all the time.

WELL, WHADDYA KNOW! Soon after, enough prying around gave us THIS.

Stones. Stones. STONES. Stones that fit within the impact point made on the ws! *gasps* Obviously, we've found the - murder weapon (Yeah - it murdered the rear windscreen didn't it?) but WHO was the murderer??

By then, my grandmother had already managed to attract a decent bunch of people who were either caring or kaypo (very thin line of difference, mind you). No pictures though - didn't want them to think they were on some sort of movie. Ahh, but despite the *Um how do you say lau zuak in English??* OLD HOT - no, that can't be right - okay, hustling and bustling, the criminals decided to reveal themselves! Well, so much for detective work.

Several children were throwing stones down from dunno-what-th floor! In spite of the crowd of adults just right there. Yeah, you'd think I'd have had a bit of sense to look for them and see which floor they were on. Of course, given my wonderful eyesight I didn't even have time to catch the slightest glimpse of them! My wonderful ears did hear kiddy voices, though.

And boy, was I enraged when it simply confirmed that it WAS children after all. What - have they NO BRAINS?? Can't they like, stick to action figures or PlayStations?! I felt like going up there and just throttling all of them. After much ado and investigation, it appeared that these were the same, notorious bunch of kids who have been warned before - for splashing curry and throwing various stuff onto the cars downstairs. To my pleasant surprise, the mother of one of those kids came down to . . . plead guilty. So they talked. And exchanged numbers. And another guy who was the father of another one of the kids came and talked. And exchanged numbers. My grandmother said he looked like a policeman, so yeah, HE HAD BETTER. Or else . . .

So . . . settled! But wait - what about the car?? o.O Here's what we did to temporarily protect it.

Bandaged it, that's what! With two large pieces of plastic! Until it was sent for a rear ws transplant! =D

K.E.L.U.A.R.G.A.

In conjuction with the upcoming Family/Father/Parent's Day . . .

I'm sure a lot of people have heard that

F-A-M-I-L-Y = Father And Mother I Love You.

Well, put together a syarahan entitled Keluarga Penyayang and a group presentation and this is what you get:

Kasih

Emak

Luas

Umpama

Api

Raksasa

Gemar

Air

And if you're wondering, "What in the world does that even mean??"

Well, we're not very sure either - but it certainly gave us a good laugh!

World Environment Day

Last week, when a friend asked me to join a team in a competition -

Me: Do what mia?

Friend: Bio competition.

Me: Eyer duwan la, must study everything ALL over again.

Friend: No no, Puan Chang said only chapter eight and nine.

Me: *o.O* Eh, isn't that . . . the easy easy wan?

Friend: Yeah, exactly. It's not difficult ma.

Me: Um, how wan ah?

Friend: Objective questions, 50 of them. 

Me: Hmm . . . Free ah??

Friend: Yeah la, no need to pay.

Me: Ooh. Okay!

So. I went home and didn't do anything about it until last Wednesday morning - 3rd June (day of the competition). I didn't finish chapter nine though. Anyway . . . Jonie and I tumpang Phaik Chern to INTI (competition place). When we got there, I really didn't expect us to win anything much, or anything at all. After all, I syok syok join nia.

Then we were asked to go to the "MPH" (Me: Hah? MPH??) - "Multi-Purpose Hall" (Me: OHH cheyyy.) where we sat down at tables. And on the tables were sheets of objective answer . . . sheets. I already had my Bio book with me - yeah the thick, green one. All I didn't have was the question paper, or I would've happily started my own open-book test. After much ado, we were asked to split and sit further apart. Sadly enough, we weren't allowed to have our book with us. No open-book test for me boohoo. Then we were handed the question paper and off we went!

It was not so much a Biology test as it was a World Environment Day test. I realized it only after I reached the, um - 10+th question. (Adui, why I go and read all the colonisation-succession *bla bla bla*??) After the pollutants part was over, there were questions like: How many people starve to death each day? How do I know?? Nobody knows that! I mean, do you?? There was also: What is the world's population number? I answered 10 billion. The answer was 5 billion. =.= Anyway, it lasted for about an hour. A lot of the questions were NOT related to what I had so hurriedly read earlier that morning.

 

They announced the results after our tea break. Individual winners were announced first. Guess what! Our very own Menakaa got FIRST PLACE! Boy, was I happy for her. What a very pleasant surprise. She didn't even read anything! Jonie was going, "At least our school get something la hahahah!". And I was going "Yayaya." After that, they begin to announce the winners for overall best groups, and I begin to feel this tiny spark of hope, that we were going to get something after all.

Heheh, mana tau! They announce announce d, and we turned out as the champion!! Oh, I was so so happy I squealed like a dunno what. Wah, I really didn't expect anything k. We got a group trophy and RM100. Plus a hammock. Yes, a hammock. ONE hammock. What, they think we girls have some compressible body mechanism? That we, the 5 of us, can all fit into ONE hammock? XD

Nevertheless, it was ours, and I am PROUD we won!! Well, here are some photos I took with my handphone.

Top: Empty envelope bearing the words GROUP CHAMPION

(LOL they're gonna send our money to the school la.)

Bottom left: Menakaa's first place trophy

Bottom right: Our group champion trophy

Here, take it in. Take it all in.

(GROUP CHAMPION!)

Still snug in it's envelope - our purple hammock.

It's purple. AND it's ours XD

This is their sandcastle competition winner.

No, we didn't build it - just thought it was interesting.

An army troop marching out of the sandcastle (or in?)

And finally, US! The brilliant, wonderful environmentalists of the day!

All smiles, as you can see.

And if you notice the height curve . . .

11 Legendary Battles: The Event

THE 11 LEGENDARY BATTLES

The Event

INTRODUCTION:

The 11 Legendary Battles is a compilation of a series of battles fought by a country known as Xyme. Written by renowed historian Ng Xing Yii, this book retells tales of courage and bravery of the soldiers who were sent to fight the 11 battles of the Great Midyearexamination War that lasted an unbelievable span of 1200 years (1405-2605).

CHAPTER 1:

-Years: 1805-2205, Against country: Bahaya-Muleya

This was a battle of cruelty and ruthlessness indeed. Thousands of troops of soldiers had set off, hardly knowing the nature of their destinies. They were not oblivious for long, however, because the moment they set foot on the border of Bahaya-Muleya they were brutally forced into sitting down and writing thousands and thousands of words non-stop. This two-part battle caused intense, chronic pains in the limbs of their brave soldiers. There was no doubt this was a battle taking lives by the bulk.

CHAPTER 2:

-Years: 1905-2505, Against country: Englishiistan

This was the other linguistic battle fought by the soldiers. The Englishiistaneese were an easy lot, but they did put up quite a fight. The blood battle went smoothly enough, but soldiers prayed that in all the haste to win it they did not make silly tenses mistakes. Even if all went well, there was still the barrier of . . . The Examiner *jeng jeng jeng*

CHAPTER 3:

-Years: 2005 and 2505, Against countries: Mads and Et Mads

This chapter features two battles that required the use of logical and analytical thinking. Soldiers were drilled many times beforehand by Generals Misslee and Missho and were given plenty of strategies and formulae of success. On the battlefield, however, soldiers had to throw numbers and digits at the opponents in order to knock them out! This was quite a victory for Xyme, but again, the soldiers hoped that there were no silly number mis-throwings made.

CHAPTER 4:

-Year: 1805, Against country: Histeria

This battle was absolutely the most devasting battle of the 11. Many of the poor, under-prepared soldiers either had to flee - or die facing the wrath of the King of Histeria and his soldiers. Many lost their heads and brains as the enemy swiftly terminated the weaker soldiers without mercy. Much was lost in this battle - Histeria was never a country Xyme could conquer.

CHAPTER 5:

-Year: 1405, Against country: Moralisa

Different from all the other battles, this was one whereby soldiers did not have to brutally masacre each other. Rather, they had to sit around in plastic chairs and compete to find the most un-barbaric and civilised and moralized soldier of them all. Long, complex phrases in foreign languages, like mematuhi peraturan and undang-undang (that the Royal Translator said had something to do with rules and prawns) were used to out-moral each other. Nevertheless, it was not easy for Xyme as most of their people were . . . not as moralized as we may wish they were.

CHAPTER 6:

-Years: 1905-2105, Against country: Bambula Triangle

*Bambula Triangle is a cluster of islands which consisted of three general regions; Bihorrodgy, Phyzeeks, and Kenmystery.

Bihorrodgy was not as difficult as expected, but several errors were made as gallons of insulin and glucagon were splashed onto the soldiers. Soldiers also seemed to be experiencing some slight form of Alzheimer's as little information of the battle can be recalled. There was also some confusion at the sight of a blunt and sharp pencil each sticking out from a whole boulder of plasticine when soldiers stepped into the vast lands of Phyzeeks. Soldiers were also required to build a weak, fragile water tower that will collapse and destroy the enemy's troops. No, it was quite the opposite actually. Of the 100 troops of soldiers sent to fight the battle in Kenmystery, only 56 troops made it back safe and sound. Another 24 troops were killed ruthlessly by massive amounts of sodium hydroxide and potassium hexacyanoferate (XII), while the remaining 20 have been abducted by King Puantan and will be held captives until further notice. King Puantan of Kenmystery reveals that he will be releasing the soldiers only after the school holidays. UM, I mean The Great Break.

CHAPTER 7:

-Years: 2105-2605, Against country: ESTeelauder

This was the last of the 11 battles. It went smoothly for the most part, but there was some mass confusion caused by calculations involving Martian days known as sols. Reportedly, several Martians were going to land and take over country ESTeelauder. Panicked, the country's leader King Feonaliwongg told Xyme's soldiers to conquer them instead. This explained the simple but not-quite-spectacular victory.

CHAPTER 8:

-Year: 2105, Against country: Civicsjaya

This bonus chapter tells the tale of the friendly battle held in the midst of the Great Midyearexamination War. There was no known preparation done for this battle, and no pressure on the troops. It was a mere breather given to the exhausted soldiers, who happened to enjoy the fake battle immensely. Soldiers were not even perturbed by the massive word bridges they had to complete using given clues, which they failed at doing.

*After these battles were held, an Examiner was sent to each mentioned country

to evaluate and tell apart victories and losses. Details of the outcome of the legendary battles will be featured in an upcoming second book, 11 Legendary Battles: The Outcome. Be sure to look out for hardcover editions which will be released in bookstores close to you!

HOKKIEN LOTR

Here's another one!

LORD OF THE RINGS:

WARNING: TAK HALAL

LOL this is hilarious!

Laugh till your ribs crack as you listen to two Hokkien dudes

pestering the poor Indian fellow to no end!

Julia you pokpok please watch if you haven't xD

Ratatouille . . .

IN HOKKIEN!

Yes, you heard me right. It's your favourite rat-slash-cook,

brought to you

In HOKKIEN!

Encounter With Nature

Okay - this morning while preparing to cook lunch, my mother washed a head of ice-berg lettuce. Guess what she saw in the process. A worm! An earthworm, yes, about 6-7cm in length. Then there was another, and another, and another, and ANOTHER, and so on until there were 6 of them little critters! So she took them out for me to ogle at; we put them in a plastic container.

And here I have a video of me holding the worms container.

Never seen (HEARD) me being squeamish??

Here's your chance!!

Note:

1. I did a bit of editing but I didn't do a very good job out of it. Besides, I already exceeded my weekend computer time so I finished it very hastily.

2. You're going to notice that after the soundtrack has ended the clip is still going on. To heck with it, I couldn't be bothered anymore.

3. There's going to be a lot of senseless screaming, and parts of it should have been removed because, uh...my aiming tersasar. But like I said, I could no longer be bothered.

So here we go!

-Presented to you by nxy = mx2+cx-

Event: MOTHER'S DAY

I know it's a little too early, but what does time matter when you're expressing appreciation to your mother!  So here's a little something. MY mother sent it to me, in fact. xD

25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. 

'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.' 

2. My mother taught me RELIGION. 

'You better pray that will come out of the carpet.' 

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. 

'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!' 

4. My mother taught me LOGIC. 

' Because I said so, that's why.' 

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. 

'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.' 

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. 

'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.' 

7. My mother taught me IRONY.

'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.' 

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. 

'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. 

'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!'

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. 

'You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone.' 

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. 

'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.' 

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. 

'If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!' 

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. 

'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.' 

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. 

'Stop acting like your father!'

15. My mother taught me about ENVY. 

'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do.' 

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. 

'Just wait until we get home.' 

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. 

'You are going to get it when you get home!' 

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. 

'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.' 

19. My mother taught me ESP.

'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?' 

20. My mother taught me HUMOUR. 

'When that lawn mower cuts off your foot, don't come running to me.'

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. 

'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.' 

22. My mother taught me GENETICS. 

'You're just like your father.' 

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. 

'Shut that door behind you.  Do  you  think  you  were born in a barn?'

24. My mother taught me WISDOM. 

'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.' 

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.

'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.'